2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
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Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
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I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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