I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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