she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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