Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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