I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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