just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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