you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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