Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize