Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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