im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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