Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize