One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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