You're my little dorito
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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