I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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