textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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