Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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