After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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