yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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