My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize