glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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