Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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