Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Mom said you looked used
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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