just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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