if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize