"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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