I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
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Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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