Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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