How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize