Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize