I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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