i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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