dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
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I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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