I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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