New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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