Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize