i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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