I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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