last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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