Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize