I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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