My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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