He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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