Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize