I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize