my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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