Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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