If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
