Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize