Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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