You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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