So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize